Auld Lang Syne

One: Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind...

Two: Why are you singing that?

One: In celebration of the new year.

Three: But New Year's was a month ago.

One: I know, but I completely forgot to sing it then.

Two: You can't sing "Auld Lang Syne" after the fact. You missed your chance. Now you have to wait until next New Year's Eve.

Three: Yeah, who ever heard of retroactive "Auld Lang Syne?"

One: Is there some kind of law that says I can only sing "Auld Lang Syne" on New Year's Eve?

Three: Just the law of common decency.

One: Who am I offending?

Two: It's not so much a matter of offending anybody. It's that you're upsetting the natural order of the universe.

One: The natural order of the universe! Are you serious? New Year's Eve is a man-made construct. Different cultures celebrate the new year at different times.

Two: And we'd expect them to sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the appropriate time.

One: Do the Chinese sing "Auld Lang Syne?"

Two: I don't know.

Three: I've never thought about it.

Two & Three: We'll check on it and get back to you.